Not Labeling is Freakin’ Hard!
One of my personal mending shifts I have been trying to work on lately is fighting my internal need to label people. What I am finding is how deeply ingrained and automatic this habit really is. Recently, I have began to view not-labeling as a spiritual practice; one in which I try to see a person simply as a child whom God loves. When I practice this, I look at a person and as the labels fly into my mind at light speed I acknowledge them and then mentally try to discard them. Yesterday, this practice was really put to the test.
I had an appointment at the welfare office (yes, you read it correctly, but that’s another story). As I sat there waiting for my name to be called, I looked at the people surrounding me. Identifying and categorizing labels came flooding in— Elderly, white, Hispanic, poor, male, female, black, cute, ugly, well dressed—and no matter how hard I tried, I could not dispose of them. I instantly, within seconds, neatly categorized everyone in that room—Bamm! Done! If I were really honest, I saw them more according to the imposed labels then as a child of God whom he loves. I really tried, but it proved too difficult. That is until she showed up…
As I sat there by myself, surrounded by labels, she appeared from around a square column that was supporting the room. She walked with laughter and the smile on her face was priceless. She was a real cutie. Dark hair, about 3′2″ tall, and around 2 years old. I instantly saw her as a child of God whom he loves. Then a piercing question hit me: Why is it so easy for me to see—without labels—a cute child simply as someone whom God loves and so difficult to see an adult that way? Why does 40 years of aging effect my view of God’s kids so much? Why do I categorize and label them, but simply see her for who she is? After all, in reality, doesn’t God see us—you and me—like I saw that little girl? I sat there and quietly let God’s message sink into my heart.
Then I began to look around at the adults again. This time, I began to see them as God’s kids whom he loves. But I also saw more. I saw kids who were sad, wounded, lonely, scared (and scarred), beat down, and hurting. I saw, in part, the effect those 40 years of life had on them and my heart broke—it simply broke. As it did, I thanked my Father for the generous gift he just gave my heart.
And so my journey and my practice of trying not to label people—simply seeing them as children whom God loves—continues on. As it does, I hope that I can resist the need to label myself and simply see me as one of his, whom he loves.
May you too—’Cause you are, and he does!
About The Author
I was at two friends’ homes the other day - and my son asked me if the friend visiting at the one home was the same guy we talked to briefly at the first home… I chuckled and told him no. He said “oh, well they both had spikey hair.” What interested me though, was that there is probably about 100 pounds difference between these two guys - and my five year old did not notice…. I want to be like that too… He did not see the things that set them apart, but the things that made them similar…
Hmmm…very insightful. Its amazing how much we can learn from children. Your story brought a chuckle out of me and then sunk in at the end. What a terrific analogy…thanks for sharing!
So I guess for the Shack, the thing we can focus on is the fact that we both read the book…
lol
lol. sure. if that helps you sleep at night.
I am an odd mix I suppose…. I don’t ever want to say “well, I guess we will just have to agree to disagree” - because I think truth is not so relative as that. One of us is right, or neither of us is right, or we both have some things right, but there is a right. Which is, of course, why I will never fit in the EC (well, one of the reasons at least). At the same time, I want to see past those things that divide, and love anyways, right? I think we fear that disagreeing and loving are somehow incompatible, probably because in our society, they are… that was rambly, did it make sense?
labels suck. getting labeled sucks….
“One of us is right, or neither of us is right, or we both have some things right, but there is a right.” ~ God is right. No, but I agree with you. My comment was just a playful one about the Shack.
I too “want to see past those things that divide, and love anyways”. You made perfect sense.
So, at this point, let’s just disagree to agree
… lol, that kinda makes sense (kinda).
I started a blog yesterday. After writing a couple of posts I decided to look for some blogs to put on my blogroll. One blog led to another until eventually I ended up at ‘Parchment and Pen,’ where I read the post that contained the diagram. Responses there led me to other blogs that also ended up on my blogroll.
Anyway - long story short - I had a dream last night where a guy approached me and said “So you’re a reverter huh?” (Meaning that I had recently returned to Christianity.) I said “No, I’m a Christian. If you must use labels, don’t you think that is a better one?”
Hi Ana and welcome to the blogosphere! A reverter, huh? LOL…that’s a label I haven’t heard yet. How about this one, a former “backslider”? That one always comes off well
. Thanks for the chuckle this morning!